


This Closeness a World All Its Own

by LilacsandFreedom



Series: Worry Not the Living [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Fluff, Gender-Neutral Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, Healing, I finished shadowbringers and wanted to write a follow-up, Light Angst, Multi, Open to Interpretation, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Sad with a Happy Ending, Talking To Dead People, will probably ramble a bit in the notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-25 20:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20377444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacsandFreedom/pseuds/LilacsandFreedom
Summary: In the sweet silence of the Crystal Tower's spire, the Warrior of Darkness knows that their voice never fell on deaf ears.





	This Closeness a World All Its Own

“How high does the crystal tower go?”

They noticed the confused twitch of the exarch’s ears. “I beg your pardon?”

“It’s an inaccurate question, actually.” they replied. “What I mean to ask is how high can _ I _go up the crystal tower?”

He looked at them strangely. “I suppose...you could reach the throne if you wished, as you did before. But, I’m struck with curiosity as to your reasoning...”

They waved their hand. “Oh, it’s nothing, truly nothing. I only wish to give myself a closeness to the stars. I’ve so missed looking upon them-- I’ve hardly had the time, you understand.” they added lightly.

“To feel the wind on your face?”

They smiled. “I had a feeling you would understand my purpose. A good night to you then. I should like to talk more come the morning but for now, the stars shall be my company.”

And he too bid them a good night as they turned to make their ascent. They knew that he, of all people, would best understand.

From the top of the crystal tower, they gazed into the heavens, into the depths of the sunless sea. _ Diamonds strewn across a raven gown, _ Urianger had said, _ boundless and beautiful _. And he had been right. How they’d longed to enfold themselves in it, to reach out and hold the stars in their fingertips. Ah, the Warrior of Darkness, they who usher all souls to the heavens…how bittersweet a thought.

_ Oh, but rest well _ , they thought, _ rest well in this most sacred night... _

Keeping their eyes heavensward, they spoke. “How long has it been since we’ve spoken, my friend?”

The voice of their heart replied, “It’s always too long, but it’s never long enough.”

They laughed a little, “Now what’s that supposed to mean?”

They knew how he stood by them, looking up at the stars. “You know that I always wish to speak with you. But, all the same it pains me to see you distance yourself so.”

“Oh, allow me an indulgence of memory from time to time, won’t you?” they said.

“And of course,” they continued, “though the blade has long-since left my heart and the wound long-since healed, I still miss your company. Some days more than others. I should think I will always miss you a little. I should think I will always love you dearly. And it is this, I think, that mended all in the end.”

Out of the corner of their eye, they could spy him looking at them fondly. “You seem so much lighter since last we spoke. And you’ve only grown more radiant! How you blind me with your most wonderful light! To see it rekindled so, it fills me more than I could ever explain in words.”

“How would you explain it then?”

“If I could, I would press my lips to every mark of pride and folly. I would take you in my arms to embrace your warmth and let you feel my own. I would stay by your side always to press upon my mind the image of your true smile. All this and more, I would do if I could.”

They reached out to the stars. _ Hear me when I say this _. “And how I wish you could. But, though my heart may yet always ache, I know it will never break. It’s true, what you said. They’ve loved me more than I could have ever known. But, I see it now. I see it clear as day. And my heart is glad for it, the weight I bear lightened by it.”

Letting their hand fall, they looked to him. Their memory had yet to fail. “Pray, don’t be jealous. Your affections will always hold a special place in my heart. Your kindness will always bolster my spirit. Your words will always be on my lips when others are in need of strength. And I, of course, will always smile for you.”

Faint tears fell from his face, like falling stars vanishing before they could touch the earth. “And how truly you smile now. How splendid you are. How greatly I miss you.”

In a closeness a world all its own, they could almost touch him. Almost brush his cheek. An indulgence of memory, a whisper from the depths of their soul given form that they may speak. “Do not weep so.” they said, “There’s no need. Go on then. Go on. Rest. Be patient as you wait, for I don’t plan on meeting you again for a very long time. So rest well, my dearest friend, and worry not for me any longer.”

The warmth in his eyes and in his smile were how they wished to remember him. More than anything, it was how they would remember him. Tomorrow would likely bring chaos and tomorrow would certainly bring them frustration. But, if only for tonight, they were at peace. Even fleeting, it was a rare and blessed thing and they treasured it above all else.

They closed their eyes and felt the gentle wind against their face. They smiled.

The veil lifted.

“You know, I’ve gotten very good at knowing when I’m no longer alone. So tell me, how long have you been standing there fidgeting like a leaf?”

The exarch replied, “Only a moment. I thought to come up here myself once you’d gone, but my curiosity overcame me. I could have sworn I heard voices, and I wondered…”

With all they’d learned considered, they had to wonder themselves. But, it didn’t matter. Their voice had been heard either way. “You might have heard me talking to myself. I do that when I’m alone from time to time. So I wouldn’t mind some company. Won’t you come and look to the sky with me?”

He stood at their side, gazing upward. “Truly, it’s good to see it. And it’s good to see you well.”

“‘Tis good to be well.” they said. “And it’s good that you are here. I wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me?”

“For saving me. You’ve done it in more ways than you know. From my whole heart, thank you.”

“You give me too much credit.”

They sighed. “Oh, don’t be so modest. But, if you won’t hear of me opening my heart, then all I ask is that you keep me company for a time. I would like to watch the stars for just awhile longer…”

And in the gentle quiet that followed, the warrior of darkness could almost hear the sighs of weary spirits granted rest long-denied. _ Rest well then...rest well in this most sacred night. _

**Author's Note:**

> Shadowbringers was really good, guys. I loved the running theme of grief/mourning and acceptance (or lack thereof)! It really felt like, by the end, your character had found some degree of peace after all they'd seen and experienced. Of course, I have no idea what's going to happen in the patches, so this fic might become woefully outdated and my interpretations completely trashed, but hey. I'll use the time I have!
> 
> And with Shadowbringers stuff, I might someday write a third, yet separate entry in this thematic series...you might have an inkling of who else fancies that the dead answer back, but we'll see, we'll see...
> 
> As always, thank you very much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
